This could take some time
Blackbird's Friday Show and Tell theme is Things that Annoy.
Tailgaters. People who follow too close. Especially when they're driving obnoxious big pickup trucks. In a school zone. And a construction zone. (Traffic fines are double in school zones. They're double in construction zones too. I wonder if that means they're quadrupled in school zones with concurrent construction.) Especially people driving obnoxious big white pickup trucks, who then flash their headlights at me, as I am approaching an intersection, where the light is currently yellow on its way to red. Hello? Especially people driving obnoxious big white pickup trucks, flashing their headlights at me, expecting me to run a red light through a school and construction zone, with children on board said truck. Especially people who tailgate me when MY child is on board. Grrrrrrrrr.*
Singers who attempt to convey passion by squeezing their voices through clenched teeth. Posers. It. Does. Not. Work. For instance Photograph, by Nickelback. And pretty much any pop Michael Bolton ever did. Now, he (Bolton) has professional training in opera (I'm pretty sure I read that some time back), and the man can sing if he wants to, but ACCKKK! None of that whiney fakey constipated so-called passion. Chad Kroeger (Nickelback) sings just fine in Why Don't You & I with Santana, so I know he has it in him. So what is up with Photograph? If someone wants to convey passion in their singing scream, then by golly, open wide, throw back the head, and belt it out from the bottom of the belly! (Roger Daltry and Bono are good at this.) Whew, glad I got that one off my chest.
But this is show and tell, so perhaps a picture is in order.
Non-recyclable items in the recycle bin. And I could list a hundred other things with accompanying photographic proof, but alas, it would only serve to portray unbalanced annoyance cool-catward, and I would have to follow up with an equally long list of all that is wonderful about him, to keep the karma straight.
On a more positive note, today my dreamboat is nine months old. And he's as dreamy as ever. My little love bug.
*In all fairness, I myself, might have ended up a wee bit close on occasion recently, as I have found myself trying to get a better look at the leaf patterns in trees that catch my eye as I drive by, arrayed in their gorgeous fall foliage. What is that tree, I think to myself, over and over, but can't quite tell what most of them are. The oaks and the maples are easy, but there are so many that I am now noticing in their fall splendor, and I think to myself, I must have one of these. If only I knew what it was. So, the lady in the grey Volvo sedan with the Baby on Board sign in the rear window apologizes to anyone who she might have gotten a little close to enroute from thereabouts to home.
Tailgaters. People who follow too close. Especially when they're driving obnoxious big pickup trucks. In a school zone. And a construction zone. (Traffic fines are double in school zones. They're double in construction zones too. I wonder if that means they're quadrupled in school zones with concurrent construction.) Especially people driving obnoxious big white pickup trucks, who then flash their headlights at me, as I am approaching an intersection, where the light is currently yellow on its way to red. Hello? Especially people driving obnoxious big white pickup trucks, flashing their headlights at me, expecting me to run a red light through a school and construction zone, with children on board said truck. Especially people who tailgate me when MY child is on board. Grrrrrrrrr.*
Singers who attempt to convey passion by squeezing their voices through clenched teeth. Posers. It. Does. Not. Work. For instance Photograph, by Nickelback. And pretty much any pop Michael Bolton ever did. Now, he (Bolton) has professional training in opera (I'm pretty sure I read that some time back), and the man can sing if he wants to, but ACCKKK! None of that whiney fakey constipated so-called passion. Chad Kroeger (Nickelback) sings just fine in Why Don't You & I with Santana, so I know he has it in him. So what is up with Photograph? If someone wants to convey passion in their singing scream, then by golly, open wide, throw back the head, and belt it out from the bottom of the belly! (Roger Daltry and Bono are good at this.) Whew, glad I got that one off my chest.
But this is show and tell, so perhaps a picture is in order.
Non-recyclable items in the recycle bin. And I could list a hundred other things with accompanying photographic proof, but alas, it would only serve to portray unbalanced annoyance cool-catward, and I would have to follow up with an equally long list of all that is wonderful about him, to keep the karma straight. On a more positive note, today my dreamboat is nine months old. And he's as dreamy as ever. My little love bug.
*In all fairness, I myself, might have ended up a wee bit close on occasion recently, as I have found myself trying to get a better look at the leaf patterns in trees that catch my eye as I drive by, arrayed in their gorgeous fall foliage. What is that tree, I think to myself, over and over, but can't quite tell what most of them are. The oaks and the maples are easy, but there are so many that I am now noticing in their fall splendor, and I think to myself, I must have one of these. If only I knew what it was. So, the lady in the grey Volvo sedan with the Baby on Board sign in the rear window apologizes to anyone who she might have gotten a little close to enroute from thereabouts to home.
posted by sueeeus at 10/14/2005 03:15:00 PM
3 Comments:
Hey, thanks for stopping by DYM. I was checking email as your comment popped up. There's something very appealing about your writing style so I'm gonna try you on for size. Meaning - I'll be following your RSS feed on my aggregator. Doesn't that sound all sci-fi? Keep it up. Oh, and don't tell my husband that the fish led to the greyhound. We don't want any harm to mysteriously come to little Jack. (Wow, I love split infinitives.)
hey.
first of all, I would totally BITE that baby's face. BITE IT.
second - ditto on the annoyances.
and I will add another vehicular annoyance, if I may...
did the woman, doing 80 in the Jetta?
with the baby on board on the turnpike? really think I merged into her on purpose? causing us both to swerve? Cause would I DO that? Try to hit a Jetta with a baby in it while it does 80?
Excuse me? Bind spot?!
Thank you for playing.
I have no idea how an RSS feed on an aggregator works, but go for it!
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