Excerpts from a letter

He sent me a letter and some pictures, years ago when we could still communicate. On the back of this picture he wrote, "I think my smile is out there somewhere." He's been melancholy for so very long.

April 10, 1993
Don't worry, I'm still your little boy. I still remember when I was little, and it seemed like the whole world hated me and the only place I had to turn was you, and you were there. I still need you as much as when I was little. As I grew up, life sucked more and more. I don't remember exactly when the fire in my eyes went out, when my dreams and ambitions went away....

...Every day I wish I could change. I can't have fun. I can't smile. Something inside me won't let me...

...Don't worry though, I'm still your little prince and you can hold me and make me forget about all my troubles and then make me make tea for you...

...take care... I love you!

He has found his smile again, and now he is at peace. How my heart has ached for him. How I wish he could have found his smile another way.