Monday, August 29, 2005

Hellos and Goodbyes

I don't much like goodbyes. Hellos are good. I have a tough time when it comes to goodbyes though. My mother is in the beginning stages of a 3-month circle tour of the U.S., and dropped by for a very short visit this weekend. She and her husband arrived Saturday evening, and now, Monday morning, they are gone. I am sad. I didn't get to say goodbye and I feel let down. When they arrived, I was on the floor playing with the baby, and my mom got right down on the floor and started playing with him, so I stayed on the floor and said my hellos from there. It was sort of a chaotic moment, then it was over. No hugs. They are early to bed, early to rise people. We had a nice day of chatting, Scrabble playing (I got a 7-letter word on the first play, with an 'H' on a double!) and movie watching (saw Something the Lord Made, very good film). After the movie they said goodnight, and goodbye, as they would be leaving in the morning. I had the baby in my arms again, so again, no hugs. No real goodbyes. I thought surely I'd see them in the morning before they left, as I'm up between 5:45 and 6:00 a.m. every day for my morning expression exercise. This morning I was up at 5:45. I came downstairs and peered out the window. No car. They had already left. What kind of people leave before 5:45 a.m.? I was up until 1 a.m., and fed the baby at 2 a.m. Somewhere between 2 and 5:45 they departed, and I find myself sad that I didn't get to say a proper goodbye. I feel deflated. Maybe even a bit rejected. I really wanted to say goodbye.

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