Saturday, July 16, 2005

of zeal and obsession

I can't stop! It's so typical of me. I find interest in something and it consumes my mind so that I spend far too much time engrossed and immersed. I shouldn't be alarmed. I know this too shall pass. Like the time I became interested in baby wearing. It started with a Snugli before Buggaboo was born. Then came the ring sling from eBay. Then the Premaxx, again from eBay. Then the eleven variations of SPOC from Mamatoto's Make Your Own. Then the Mei Tai, or ABC --my favorite. I've made five. First with the Mamatoto Make Your Own instructions. Next on to the internet, where I joined a Yahoo group (traditional-baby-carriers). Found a great site with lots of instructions and finally ended up at Beth's Mei Tai, whose design and instructions I liked the best. Of course I had to modify them for me and my Buggaboo, as we are both above average in girth and dimension, and I can't leave well enough alone anyway, always looking for the ideal, the ultimate, the best of all possible worlds (I'll thank Tartuffe for that last one, from a million or two years ago). I even made new pattern and layout drawings that I've been meaning to send to Beth, but haven't gotten around to it. It's on the list. One of many. I have bound journals filled with lists. Things to Do. My life is lived by the list. I like order in the scheme of things (just a little OCD, not a lot). Sometimes I even finish a list. I find them when I'm going through stacks of this and that, sometimes years, even decades old. It's amazing that although I'd long forgotten the list, so many of its items have come to pass. Marry a good man. Have a healthy baby. Those two took much longer than I'd ever have thought (they weren't 100 percent in the sphere of things I could control). But they happened!! Thanks be to God!

I used to have greyhounds. They are wonderful pets. Who ever would have known? I dived into that world too. Became an advocate and adoption volunteer. A foster hound-mom. I loved those dogs! I can't even say how many coat variations and designs I came up with for them. My brother-in-law used to say they had a bigger wardrobe than he did. (Greyhounds are very lean with short hair and need a little something extra to keep them warm in a cool climate.) The best outfit was the buckskin ensemble, moccassins, fringe, and all. Made from real suede (I chopped up an old coat I found at a thrift store for a couple dollars). Even an Indian (would native American be PC?) headdress with big beautiful wild turkey feathers (from real wild turkeys that used to gobble gobble on property I once had in this fair land). My boy Jet strutted about the houndfest in that (greyhound folk get IN to it, and have meets and festivals -- it's greyt!!), oblivious to most things, and wondering why on earth his hound-mom made him wear such ridiculous things on his feet. Alas, Buggaboo came along and I reached my limit. Sadly, I found myself unable to be the supermom and super hound-mom I wanted to be, so Buggabbo won and I let my beautiful hounds go (happily they were adopted by loving families immediately and didn't even have to spend one night alone in a dark and scary kennel). I still have guilt issues to resolve.

So. Of zeal and obsession. I love to write! It means nothing and goes round and round and ends up nowhere, but I do enjoy the ride.


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